Part 5 of my six sources of the fear of success! This is addressed to my current team and I hope it helps others out too. Please leave your comments and questions below. If you missed parts 1, 2, 3, or 4 follow the links to catch up!
#5 Fear that you don’t deserve to have success. This one really struck a cord with me when I thought about my team. The kids in the program come from a very diverse area of Salt Lake County, Utah including race, education, socio-economic status, etc. We are landlocked, surrounded by some areas like our own, and some that are not so diverse. These areas house a majority of affluent families. Coming from the West Jordan, and considering all of those around us, one could ponder whether he deserves to win or just be happy to put on the pads. We haven’t been a consistent winner in years. Why us? Why this team? Why now?
One of my captains recently felt strongly about this same point. He attended a local leadership conference for high school athletes and came out a stronger person. The following week he quoted to the team the infamous passage by Marianne Williamson (A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"):
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
If you work for it, and earn it, then you deserve it! It doesn’t matter where you come from, who your parents are, or what others think of you! ‘It’s not the size of the dog, but the size of the fight in the dog!’
You lift, run, and play other sports in the off-season. You sweated through two-a-days. You prepared your mind with the scouting report. You are in position to make the play- now trust yourself and DO IT!
Coaches will often talk about game day as payday. “It’s time to go get paid!” The games are the reward for a hard week of preparation! You deserve to make plays you are prepared for! You deserve to be patted on the back and met by cheering teammates when you make a play! You deserve to win if you go out and earn it. You can then call yourself a WINNER!
It's time to represent West Jordan! Feel confident as you give everything you have and "as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same!” You are an inspiration to others! Compound that and you begin a chain reaction that can change a team or a program. Quite possibly, you might find that it changes the whole city...
THE SIX SOURCES OF THE FEAR OF SUCCESS
1. Fear that you will lose it once you have it
2. Fear that you won't know what to do with it once you have it
3. Fear of criticism from those around you once you have success
4. Fear of changing into someone else once you have success
5. Fear that you don't deserve it once you have success
6. Fear that you won't enjoy that level of success (or the end result)
Credit for this goes to Jeremy Frandsen and Jason VanOrden, owners of Internet Business Marketing, who came out with a podcast May of 2014 titled “Is the fear of success holding you back (and you don’t even realize it)?” You can find it here.
Lastly, I love questions and comments, so leave them here or email me at dandupaix@gmail.com. Thanks for reading!
