SIX SOURCES OF THE FEAR OF SUCCESS: PART 5

Part 5 of my six sources of the fear of success!  This is addressed to my current team and I hope it helps others out too.  Please leave your comments and questions below.  If you missed parts 1, 2, 3, or 4 follow the links to catch up!

#5 Fear that you don’t deserve to have success.  This one really struck a cord with me when I thought about my team.  The kids in the program come from a very diverse area of Salt Lake County, Utah including race, education, socio-economic status, etc.  We are landlocked, surrounded by some areas like our own, and some that are not so diverse.  These areas house a majority of affluent families.  Coming from the West Jordan, and considering all of those around us, one could ponder whether he deserves to win or just be happy to put on the pads.  We haven’t been a consistent winner in years.  Why us?  Why this team?  Why now?

One of my captains recently felt strongly about this same point.  He attended a local leadership conference for high school athletes and came out a stronger person.  The following week he quoted to the team the infamous passage by Marianne Williamson (A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"):

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” 

If you work for it, and earn it, then you deserve it!  It doesn’t matter where you come from, who your parents are, or what others think of you!  ‘It’s not the size of the dog, but the size of the fight in the dog!’  

You lift, run, and play other sports in the off-season.  You sweated through two-a-days.  You prepared your mind with the scouting report.  You are in position to make the play- now trust yourself and DO IT!

Coaches will often talk about game day as payday.  “It’s time to go get paid!” The games are the reward for a hard week of preparation!  You deserve to make plays you are prepared for!  You deserve to be patted on the back and met by cheering teammates when you make a play!  You deserve to win if you go out and earn it.  You can then call yourself a WINNER!  

It's time to represent West Jordan!  Feel confident as you give everything you have and "as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same!”  You are an inspiration to others!  Compound that and you begin a chain reaction that can change a team or a program.  Quite possibly, you might find that it changes the whole city...

THE SIX SOURCES OF THE FEAR OF SUCCESS

1. Fear that you will lose it once you have it

2. Fear that you won't know what to do with it once you have it

3. Fear of criticism from those around you once you have success

4. Fear of changing into someone else once you have success

5. Fear that you don't deserve it once you have success

6. Fear that you won't enjoy that level of success (or the end result)

Credit for this goes to Jeremy Frandsen and Jason VanOrden, owners of Internet Business Marketing, who came out with a podcast May of 2014 titled “Is the fear of success holding you back (and you don’t even realize it)?” You can find it here.  

Lastly, I love questions and comments, so leave them here or email me at dandupaix@gmail.com.  Thanks for reading! 

SIX SOURCES OF THE FEAR OF SUCCESS: PART 4

Now to part 4 of my six sources of the fear of success!  Jeremy Frandsen and Jason VanOrden, owners of Internet Business Marketing, who came out with a podcast May of 2014 titled “Is the fear of success holding you back (and you don’t even realize it)?” They deserve the credit and you can find it here.  

THE SIX SOURCES OF THE FEAR OF SUCCESS

1. Fear that you will lose it once you have it

2. Fear that you won't know what to do with it once you have it

3. Fear of criticism from those around you once you have success

4. Fear of changing into someone else once you have success

5. Fear that you don't deserve it once you have success

6. Fear that you won't enjoy that level of success (or the end result)

This is addressed to my current team and I hope it helps you out too.  Please leave your comments and questions below.  If you missed parts 1, 2, or 3 click on the link and read it!

Fear of changing into someone you won’t like once we have success.  Picture this: 5’10’’, 255 lbs man-child with arms the size of legs and legs the size of people (and no, he’s not Polynesian!).  Is that what will happen to you when you begin your off-season weight training program?  Heck no!  Lifting weights, or any other conditioning, will not turn you into something you don’t want to become, at least not instantly.  This is the most common, and hilarious, thinking I hear from rookie high school lifters (specifically females!).  “I don’t want to get bulky..”  Gets me every time! 

A used car salesman is a good stereotypical example.  He usually doesn’t start out as sleazy, fast-talking guy in a cheap suit.  He began as an energetic and enthusiastic person trying to earn money and over time he learns the tricks of the trade (along with the ‘dirty’ ones).  But not all salesmen want to steal your money.  I've worked with honest, hard-working people who are trying to deliver a good product to the consumer.  These people CHOSE to be that way and learned how along the way.

With football you should be setting goals along the journey and striving to reach them.  If you want to have a certain quality, ability, or attribute, you WILL have to work at it.  Jeremy and Jason said, “If you’re worried about become someone you won’t like, chances are you are already aware of why and won’t allow yourself to become such.”  Just be yourself, set goals, and work to get there one step at a time.

...and in the slim chance you realize you're choices are leading you elsewhere, step back, reset your goals and continue pushing forward, which is not a bad practice anyway!  Remember that goals are your goals, and life is your life!  Choose your path and do everything in your power to cross the finish line!!

I invite you to leave any comments below.  Also, if you are interested, enter your email to get my latest posts sent as soon as they are published.  Thanks for reading!

SIX SOURCES OF THE FEAR OF SUCCESS: PART 1

Jeremy Frandsen and Jason VanOrden, owners of Internet Business Marketing, came out with a podcast May of 2014 titled “Is the fear of success holding you back (and you don’t even realize it)?”  You can find it here.  It is a very insightful podcast and the guys do a great job explaining how it relates to business.

I want to address their list of Six Sources of the Fear of Success and relate it to football.  It can easily be related to any aspect of life, but I want to dedicate this to my current football team.  We  have been building momentum and are at the cusp of the making that upward growth some call the “Hockey Stick” graph which measures the time it takes until you become successful and look just like a hockey stick (not the global warming one!).

I am so proud of this team and the hard work that they are putting in!  There have been some pleasant surprises that have really given me a motivational boost as their coach to see such growth in strength, character, and camaraderie.  However, we aren’t quite reaching our potential and I believe, and my captains, assistant coaches, and a number of players agree, that we are afraid of success.  Afraid of SUCCESS?!?  Yes, and I hope this gives us some confidence to take the next step in our journey to become champions!

THE SIX SOURCES OF THE FEAR OF SUCCESS

1. Fear that you will lose it once you have it

2. Fear that you won't know what to do with it once you have it

3. Fear of criticism from those around you once you have success

4. Fear of changing into someone else once you have success

5. Fear that you don't deserve it once you have success

6. Fear that you won't enjoy that level of success (or the end result)

I’d like dissect each element and give some thoughts and advice on each one.  To help it relate better as you read, try replacing the word ‘Success’ with ‘Champion,’ ‘Winning,’ or ‘Greatness.’  I hope you take it if it applies and make yourselves better.  I have been addressing some of my own fears recently and I’m making progress!

Fear that you will lose success once you have it:  This is the fear the some have about becoming a starter and the possibility of another player beating them out.  Guess it’s better to not to even try and find an excuse why later on then it is to take it and run with it!  Right?  No!  Jeremy and Jason refer to a study that shows that those who find success and then lose it have an easier time getting it back.  They have learned how to do it and now they can duplicate the process.  You can do that too!

Consider your off-season lifting regiment.  You squat, power clean, etc and get bigger, stronger and faster.  Then there's a set back such as an ankle injury or group homework project which requires your time and energy which takes you away from your routine.  You will lose strength if you don't lift!  However, you know how to get it back so rehab, or get back on course and come back as strong or  STRONGER!

Take a risk and follow your leaders!  Learn the process in a way that you can easily come back to it later in football or as it relates to life!  You will be successful and you will learn from your set back and mistakes along the way.  This will only make you better!

I would love to hear your comments, stories, and advice on Part 1.  Otherwise, thanks for reading and go get better!!

Five Things I've learned in Implementing a New Off-Season Football Program

I understand how important an off-season is to a football program.  I've been the son of a head football coach my entire life.  I've worked under him and another head coach who simply "get it" when it comes to developing football players and converting success in the off-season to WINS in the season.

With that being said, I am working out the bugs at my current school as I implement my new off-season football program.  I won't give you the demographics and socio-economic status in this post, but will say that it is different from the other two football programs I've been a part of, and there are significant challenges in building a championship program in this area.  (We are making progress though!)  I will link my latest update on my published participation policies as well as give you a list of things I've learned in the process this year.  I hope if helps!

I will go into details on the program at a later date.  Please email me with weight lifting questions or leave a comment below!  I sincerely believe that our weight program is second to none and we do not have much more than plates, racks, and bars.

Five Things I've learned in Implementing a New Off-Season Football Program

1. Be careful about using a "Point System"

In another post, I address my background on using a point system and the transition from year to year (You can read about that here).  Long story short, if you are going to use a point system, be aware of the time commitment and follow the KISS theory (Keep It Simple Stupid).  The accountability is great, but do you have time to do the clerical aspect of it, or is another coach going to?  I've gone to a more simple attendance or participation count, in which I include practice and weight lifting from other sports.

2. Be aware of the language used to advertise

I believe you need to post your rules and policies so that your whole team knows the expectations and so that potential players and parents see what you're doing and how they can get involved.  For some, it might scare them away, but, for the majority, an educated audience can now make an informed decision.

I asked my AD to proof my posting, and after a couple drafts, felt confident as an outside entity that I explained myself in a manner that was inviting and informative.  He had no problem supporting this as the basketball coach for his multi-sport athletes.  The language was clean, encouraging and non-threatening.

3. Be a salesman in a way that others will buy in

I hate sells!  I've done everything from retail to door-to-door and I don't like pushing products on people because I hate when it happens to me.  However, the one thing great thing I've learned from sales is that no one will value your product if you don't sell it!

You have something of value.  You know that the players and parents will benefit from it and in turn help you achieve your goals as their coach.  Don't treat it like a disease- treat it like the grandma's famous cookies!  Everyone should want it!  Everyone should know the benefits!  Everyone should see the vision you have and you should remind them everyday,  Encourage the first ones who buy in to sale to the others.

4. Inform the stake holders

I'm dealing with this on several levels.  The school and sports' stake holders need to know what you're doing!  This group of people includes: School administrators, Athletic Director, assistant coaches, parents, players, coaches of other sports, and VIP community members.  These people will have questions and if they are 'surprised' to see how high you've set the bar, they may grab their children and run away!  Let them know and invite feedback.  

Per the example in #2 above, my AD's feedback and support really gave me a boost of confidence in what I was implementing.  I was able to pitch my program to him and he gave me great advice.  I left that meeting feeling really good!

5. Don't procrastinate the kickoff

Somewhat contrary to everything I've laid out for you in this post, I advise you to jump in when it's time to start and work out the kinks later!  I worked on my new program for weeks, here and there, to put out the perfect off-season program.  However, I didn't feel good about it when the date arrived that I was planning to begin.  So I kept working on it.  Two weeks later, it still wasn't perfect, but it was satisfactory.

I then advertised and asked for feedback only to find out how many holes were still left to plug.  I revised it.  Then I revised it again.  Both times I told the players what the changes were and do you know what they said to me? 

"Okay Coach."

It would not have mattered when I started the new program, but I wasted two weeks to try and publish a perfect reward system that would end up getting banged around anyway.  I should have pushed it at my deadline and taken my lumps then, instead of wasting so much time of saying "Wait until you see our new off-season reward program!!"  Really embarrassing now that I look back at it...  Just jump in with both feet and roll with the punches!

Best of luck in your off-season!  Please leave comments of your experiences below.  If you have any questions on this or anything else related to coaching or football, please send them my way and I'll be happy to respond and/or post!

Football Off-Season Power Lifting and Weight Training Program

This past week, I had the opportunity to speak to the local scout troop about the Constitution.  My buddy said, “You’re a teacher so you’ll be great!”  I teach PE, SMH…  Regardless, I was honored to be invited.  However, as much as I respect and love this country and our founding fathers, I did not feel comfortable giving a lecture on the subject (nor would the boys want that!).  I instead decided to talk about football, or rather the how organization meets passion and dedication.

More specifically, I spoke to them about my new football off-season weight training program.  It was fresh on my mind as I had just finished up the details that day.  I felt that it related because I was planning a document that was going to govern my team for the next several months and lead to their optimum success physically, as well as show their dedication to the overall success as a team (and every good football coach knows that off-season performance leads to victories in the fall!).  It worked out rather well with the boys and so I’d like to share it with you as well.

When organizing my current off-season weight training program, I looked at several other coaches and what they are/were doing.  So much of it came down to either tradition of successful football programs or a system of accountability.  Many had put a point system in place to hold their players accountable and on track for off-season growth.  I like this idea because I needed something to build my program around, something for the players to grab onto that can lead to competition and ownership as well as becoming more physically ready for 5A football (largest classification in Utah).

I must take a moment and recognize my Defensive Coordinator and Strength Coach Matt Martinez.  He is an alumni at the school and I don’t know if I've ever met someone with my passion and drive for their high school!  He also has the professional power lifting expertise and track record of successful athletes that I rely on heavily.  We are deep into a manual on the whole program to be released soon!

My first off-season as a head football coach, I had just taken over a struggling program.  One of my first tasks was to take a fitness class and turn it into a strength training program (and that’s putting it nicely).  My assistant coaches and my focus was on making sure the players were power lifting, including Olympic lifts, safely and correctly.  We made huge strides, but unfortunately it was too little too late for those seniors to change in 5 months what had been trained for 3 years.

The second off-season, I decided to do a “Pride Point System” where the players earned points for attendance and participation in weight sessions, multiple sports, good grades, etc.  It was built around a reward system for the top earners.  While the program itself encouraged and pushed athletes to new heights, it failed on my end by way of the organization and accounting side.  It was a nightmare to keep track of the kids points!  I wasted a lot of time explaining and re-explaining the system.  Worst of all, I failed to reward my top earners when it came to 2-a-days!  In fact, the #1 kid reminded me of the lunch I still owe him this week…

Now to off-season #3; I feel strongly about the reward system and feel good about the points, but wanted to keep it simpler on my end while not taking away from the players rewards.  So, after many mistakes, much research on Google, and planning with my coaches, I have a new plan!  I will add it to my document links.  Feel free to download it and edit it to your liking.  I am excited that I only have to keep track of “workouts” and in the end, that is what’s going to help us win games.

I’ll also add our “Jaguar Creed.”  Long story short, I decided to add this to our daily routine in the weight room.  The players repeat the Pledge of Allegiance and then, either an individual or as a team, we state the Creed with clear voices and conviction.  This has helped place a clear understanding of what we work for.  I’ve tried to make it a big part of our off-season program and allow the players to vote on changes and modifications, so long as they agree to put their John Hancock at the bottom.  Many organizations have done things similar, but I should give credit to the football staff at BYU, Joe DuPaix at Timpanogos HS, and Larry Wilson who recently retired from Herriman HS for their help in putting this together.

If you have questions on this or anything else related to head coaching or football, please send them my way and I’ll be happy to respond and/or post!